Lately, people have been expressing that I really need to be dating a doctor or a lawyer. I tell them that this really isn’t my style. I’m more into the writer and poet type. I tell them that I want someone to write me love letters that are just out of control. See, this summer I really wanted to have someone back in the States waiting for me. Someone who would send me love letters, and lead me on a whirlwind of a romance from far, far away. I wanted someone who would “give ole’ Mr. Shakespeare a run for his money”. Well, that didn’t happen, but I did have two amazing friends in Auburn that were exactly what I needed. I love looking back to see what I think I need versus what God knows I need. They are the most incredible, Christian girls I have ever met. If you know much about me, you know my obsession for them. I am so blessed to have these girls in my life, and I thank God daily for placing them in my life. I talk to them everyday, and me being in Italy was no exception. God taught me so much this summer, so in my e-mails I would express His patience and love that I was experiencing. I would also hear about what they were learning and their daily walks with the Lord. We talked about relationships, love, our plans for the day and details about the night before. There were no boundaries, and nothing was left unsaid.
Subject: Fishing in the Dark
From: harmoem@auburn.edu
And swimming with the fish in the dark. That was me last night...I fell into the lake while jug fishing. You know when the radio is playing and you just gotta dance? A good song comes on, I hop up on the back of the boat and I'm a swaying. Just a swaying. I get to teetering and SPLASH. Yes, my a*# is hanging in the water. I'm laughing and you know how when you're laughing you get weak. I'm just dead weight hanging off the side of the boat. Moral of the story..I've got to practice my dancing on moving surfaces. I think it's all about balance. Chas, thank you so much for your last email! Just what I needed to hear. God is reminding me that I receive all my joy and satisfaction in Him. No person can ever make me happy. People disappoint. I disappoint people. But God is a steady rock that never fails. Never. I desperately need Him. In the book I'm reading "Crazy Love" Francis Chan says "I wrote this book because much of our talk doesn't match our lives. We say things like, 'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,' and 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart.' Then we live and plan like we don't believe God even exists. We try to set our lives up so everything will be fine even if God doesn't come through. But true faith means holding nothing back. It means putting every hope in God's fidelity to his promises." Chas, what would it look like if I totally trusted God with EVERYTHING? I already know the answer; my life would look really different than it does now. I don't want my life to be characterized by comfort. My parents are always talking about planning for this and that but I don't want to plan out my life. It’s not about me. It’s not about my hopes, my dreams. Where does God want me for my preceptorship? When I graduate? I don't know, but it's not for me to decide. If I trust God with my eternity, shouldn't I trust Him with my everyday life here on this earth? I want to 'hold nothing back.' I CAN'T WAIT TO COME TO SCOTTSBORO. Reunited...so soon. Love.
Emi
Subject: Lovey Dovey
From: montgae@auburn.edu
Yes, you do have to get married eventually because I want to babysit your baby girls, and I expect your wedding to be amazing! I always tell people that you will plan mine. Lately though I have just had a peace about being single.
I was listening to a podcast about how women simply need to put their hope in God, but instead we find ourselves thinking that a guy or marriage will make us happy forever; that we will find contentment in a person. It scared me to think that if I ever put all my hope in another person, one day I would see how unfulfilling that was. How unhappy I would be when I woke up to the realization that I put my hope in a non-perfect human instead of God. Psalms 33:15 says "He made our hearts, so he understands everything they do" I love that. It gave me peace. He knows that one day I want to get married and have that kind of relationship with someone; he knows I want to have kids. Well, He made my heart so he knows my heart inside and out. God knows what I want and he understands my desires and so he understands me. He of all people understands. So I trust that He will carry out his plans for my life and knowing my desires that he will bring me into a relationship eventually, and now I just have to be patient. That is why I'm at peace about it. I know that when we all really end up with the right guy we will laugh at all the times we tried to settle for less.
Later Gator, Annie
Chas,I think that our emails from this summer are priceless. If only I was a "blogger" and could post one of your emails to me. "Nothing was left unsaid" is so true...I mean seriously! I'm so thankful for having a friend that I can be totally honest with and you always point me back to Christ. Thank you. And thanks for taking out a name or two :)
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